5 Ways to Tell If Your Therapist Is a Good Fit - From a Therapist’s Perspective!
As a therapist in Colorado, I am thrilled that therapy is being de-stigimized, and more and more people are being open about their decision to engage in therapy. No matter if you’re dealing with a mental health concern, a major life transitions relationship struggles, or just need support, therapy can be extremely helpful for many people.
If you are one of the thousands of Americans that are starting their therapy journey in 2023 (New Year New You, right?!), then you may be spending hours looking over profiles of different therapists asking yourself, “how do I know which therapist is best for me?”
Maybe you have a referral from a friend, or a medical provider. Or perhaps you came across a therapist directory. I won’t lie - finding a therapist can be hard. Searching the endless number of therapist profiles, navigating availability, scheduling, and fees, all while trying to find someone that can actually help you is no easy feat. These logistics are absolutely important, but research shows that the number one indicator of effective therapy is “fit”, meaning the quality of the relationship between client and therapist.
Here are five ways to tell if your therapist is a good fit for you:
You feel comfortable. It may take time to warm up to your therapist, and it’s completely normal to feel nervous for your first couple of sessions with a new therapist. However, as your nerves naturally decrease, you should feel more and more comfortable with your therapist. It is your therapist’s job to do everything they can to provide you with a non-judgemental, safe place for you to talk about your challenges and explore your feelings. If you are struggling to feel comfortable in therapy, talk to your therapist about how you’re feeling so they can find ways to support you.
They talk to you about your goals. A fundamental difference between psychotherapy and other relationships is the incorporation of treatment goals. Your therapist should ask you about your goals for therapy at the beginning of treatment, and should check in with you often about your progress on your treatment goals throughout your time in therapy. Remember, goals can change and as you spend more time working in therapy, you may recognize that your goals shift as you make various changes in your life.
They specialize in your presenting concern. Although a therapist’s experience or training is not the most important factor when it come to effective therapy, it is something to consider. Would you go to an orthopedic surgeon for open heart surgery? Probably not. Same goes for therapists. All therapists should have a fundamental knowledge and skillset of human development, psychology, and mental health disorders, but most therapists have a few specialities. Make sure to ask your therapist what they specialize in, and how they work with your presenting concern.
They have strong, loving boundaries. Oh, boundaries. Boundaries are something most of us struggle with, but developing healthier boundaries can be such a game-changer for many. Boundaries are a foundation of good therapy because they protect the sacred space between client and therapist, and help us learn how we relate and respond to healthy boundaries. Some signs that your therapist has good boundaries: they start and end sessions on time more often than not, there is consistency and transparency around policies like fees, attendance, and cancellations, and they don’t overshare or talk a lot about themselves.
They challenge you. First and foremost, you should feel supported, and not judged by your therapist. But as my own therapist reminded me once, a part of healing is having hard conversations. That being said, your therapist should be objective, and therefore give you feedback and help you see things from a different perspective in order to create change in your life.
While finding the best therapist for your needs is absolutely crucial, it is also important to recognize your willingness, commitment level to change, while also remembering change and healing takes time. Sometimes clients can leave therapy when it gets difficult, so make sure to frequently check in with your therapist about how you’re feeling and your needs in the therapy relationship. Working through challenges and difficult feelings within the therapy relationship can be extremely therapeutic and corrective.
If you’re ready to take the next step in finding a therapist, ask a trusted friend or medical provider for a referral. Or start by looking on an online therapist directory like Psychology Today. Good therapy can be a life changer for many people - and you deserve it.
As a therapist in Colorado, I provide therapy to individuals and couples. I provide in-person therapy in Denver and Frisco, CO and virtual telehealth therapy for clients across Colorado. I specialize in treating trauma/PTSD, relationship concerns, anxiety/depression, and substance use issues. I also offer Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy in Denver and Summit County. Reach out to schedule a free 15 minute consultation today!